Change Your Thoughts. Change Your Life. Pt.4

The Voices in Your Life Are The Lid On Your Happiness (Part 2)

In the previous post, I said that you and I need voices of refreshing in our lives. Not only do you need voices of refreshing to be happy, but you also need voices of wisdom. We need voices of wisdom in our lives. Solomon tells us again, from his Proverbs, that "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm." [‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭13:20]‬

We need to be wise and walk with the wise to be happy in this world. Period.

Harm and happiness are not close companions. 

There is not much exegetical heavy lifting with this verse; it is pretty plain. Your choice of relationships or companions also helps determine the type of person you become—wise or foolish, unaware or self-aware… and of course, for our purposes today, happy or hopeless.

The wisdom of the wise and their words will rub off on you as you listen and engage their counsel. Inversely, befriend a fool, and you will become a fool. Become a fool, and you will suffer the end of a fool—harm.

Solomon does not mince words here; both wisdom and stupidity are learnt from the company you or I keep. And if we can learn wisdom or stupidity through the company we keep, we indeed learn negativity or positivity… happiness or gloom.

How do you know if someone is wise?

Wise people grow and change, but fools stay the same.

Wise people admit when they are wrong, but fools cannot be wrong.

Wise people speak the truth with grace; fools gracelessly point out faults or flaws or fail to tell you the truth at all.

We need to be wise and walk with the wise to be happy in this world. 

We need voices of refreshing in our lives. We need voices of wisdom in our lives. And lastly, We need loyal voices in our lives. 

To quote the late, great Nipsey Hussle

Money, loyalty and love, in the dream, we trust

You be switchin' up the players on your team too much

Tiny Cobby, that's my Loc, Young Supreme; what's up?

Ain't we travel 'round the world gettin' cream or what?

Solomon, once again, agrees. Part of the reason we struggle to find happiness in this world is that we be switchin' up the players on our team too much. Or, as Solomon describes it, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." [‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:24‬]

It is not that Solomon is necessarily saying it is wrong to have many friends—many voices in your life—so much as he is discouraging making too many friends too quickly. 

I want to share this verse from an even more precise translation to give us another view. Listen. "Some friends play at friendship, but a true friend sticks closer than one's nearest kin." [‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:24‬]

When Solomon wrote this, there were definitely air quotes around that first "friends." What is he saying? Some people pretend to be your friend, but they are not and were not ever really on your team. Whatever they wanted, or whatever they saw, or wherever they thought proximity to you would take them, once they got it—or realized they were never going to get it—they were gone!

But there are people—friends—who are better to you than your biological family. Those friends will ride with you through good and bad, thick and thin, up and down, lean and abundant—they are not going anywhere. Solomon is describing a loyal friend, a loyal voice. We need loyal voices to lead happy lives.

Do you see how all three of these verses tie together? Take your time making friends, and you will find out if they are a soul of blessing or one that takes life. Take your time making friends, and you will find out if they are wise or foolish. Take your time making friends, and you will see who operates from love and loyalty and who will jump ship or try and see you come to…ruin.

You may have noticed a theme in the text choices; they were all about the types of relationships we allow in our lives. Why? Because there is a direct correlation between your happiness and who is in your life. There is a direct correlation between your happiness and to whom you listen! 

Who speaks into your life? Answering that question will be critical to assessing why or why you are not happy—and this is two-pronged.

The good news is that even if you do not presently have earthly voices of refreshing, wisdom, or loyalty, you still have a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Jesus said to His first disciples, "no greater love does someone have than this, but to lay down their life for their friend." 

If you have put your trust in Jesus, and are a follower of the way of Jesus, then you are a friend of Jesus. Jesus is a refreshing soul who promises to give you living water. Jesus is the personification of wisdom, and He walks with you and makes you wise when you listen to His words. Jesus is a loyal friend. He promised never to leave you or forsake you, even when you do not do what He has shown you is right and wise to do.

Yes, God wants you to have friends in this life, people who refresh you, advise you with wisdom, and are loyal to you, but… He also wants to remind you and me today that even when we do not have people, we have Jesus! 

I said, though, that this is two-pronged. The second prong is this—who are the voices in your life? Who are the friends that speak into your life? Are they refreshing, are they wise, are they loyal? If they are not… well, I think you can finish that sentence. At the very least, it is time for a conversation. Why? The people around us promote or demote our happiness. The people around us promote or demote our happiness. Period. 

If the Scriptures and everything accompanying them have convinced you that that is true today, then I invite you to take just one next step after our time together:

Assess every relationship in your life.

If you allow me just a couple more minutes, I want to close the post with this… recently I watched a talk by Brenee Brown. In it, she was describing how some of the language she used to help her children evaluate relationships. 

She said that she started telling her children to be wary of "candle-blower-outers in about third grade." Candle-blower-outers, she said, are people who see that your flame is shining brightly, and they try through their words to extinguish it. Stay away from those people, she said.

She added, surround yourself with people who see your flame shining, and they encourage it to burn even brighter. And be those types of people, she said!

Friends, if we are going to see the world awakened to God's wonder and His church in all of her beautiful diversity, we have to shine brightly and encourage others to do the same, which means we need voices in our lives that help us do so! 

In Part Five of this series, we will discover that we need a new story along with new thoughts and voices. Until then, be well!