Endless Love

Typical of most pastors, I have done my fair share of weddings. And typical of many weddings, 1 Corinthians 13 was read at several of them by either the bride or the groom or both, or a family member or friend. In other words, this "love poem" of the bible, or the "love chapter", has probably been read at more weddings than it has been preached in churches.

The regular use of this passage in wedding ceremonies has probably linked it so strongly in your mind with flowers, kisses, and dresses that as we read it together, you were thinking about the last time you heard it… at a wedding. Maybe not. 

At one of these many weddings I have officiated, it hit me hard—these two have no idea what they are actually saying to each other in reading these words. They have no earthly idea what they are in for, especially when each realises that the words they are reading are not feelings that can be conjured but commitments of will that they must cultivate. 

There they were, dressed spectacularly. Teary-eyed and staring with incredible longing toward one another, wanting so badly to believe that being in love was the most significant thing they could ever feel, but unawares, it seemed, that what lay before them would be a lifelong journey to learn love, even when they did not feel love, or feel loving.

Of course, this is natural, yes? We long to love and be loved. It is a natural human impulse, put there by God Himself as an expression of who He is. Even if one would say that they did not believe in God, the instinct to love and the impulse to be loved--you still have it, and God put it there. Love is the greatest gift we can give. We long to be life-giving, loving people. So what, then, is the issue with reading this portion of Paul's letter to Corinth in a wedding ceremony? Chapter thirteen in Corinthians is not about romantic sentimentality, as it has often been cast. Paul's words were written to provoke the young church he planted in Corinth toward a genuine, mutual concern and consideration for one another within their community. His words are a poetic, even symphonic effort to help them understand that they all belong together as the family of God.

From this vantage point, it stands to reason that many of us will have our thoughts on love challenged, as we realise that what Paul was up to in this beautiful and concise chapter is his painting a picture of a more excellent way to be a people… to be a "we." It is a more excellent way to treat one another. As Paul here insists, love is essential for Jesus' followers and how they live, especially in the church community. God gives love, and love gives life. When we love, we give God's best to those around us.

Love, genuine love expressed, is what makes a community genuinely transformational. 

Paul presses that love gives meaning and colour to all other aspects of following Jesus. In other words, all else is meaningless if we lack love. All of the impressive, even spiritual things we might do or be capable of doing have no weight or meaning if our lives are not characterised by love. If someone speaks in tongues, a true gift of the Spirit, even those of angels, which Paul himself professed, but they lack love; they are no more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If someone has the glorious gift of eloquent speech but lacks love and their speech lacks love, then they are doing little more than making noise. The gift's worth is shattered if it lacks love. The gift becomes a meaningless phenomenon, where love is not alive in the people who practise it. Add Prophecy to the list. It does not matter if God has given you the ability to speak of future things or articulate His Scriptures if you do not have love. You could even be gifted to understand the lingering mysteries of the Scriptures, the mysteries of the gospel, and the mysteries of this world, but without love, they have no worth. What if God has gifted you with incredible faith? The faith that Jesus spoke of could move mountains if it were but the size of a mustard seed. Miracle-working faith. Faith that can make what seems impossible possible? Paul writes, in essence, I don't know about you, but I would be nothing if I had that type of faith and did not love people in an active, life-giving way. I am nothing, Paul writes. Let those words ring loudly. They stand out.

Life without love lacks all meaning.

Paul presses further, moving away from incredible gifts to incredible virtue. What if one were willing to give away all she has in possessions? What if someone were to take Jesus' words literally to sell all of their possessions, this would be a radical departure from Western Culture. It would be admired by almost any person of even minimal virtue. We are prone to get, gain, and gather things. It is the American Dream and the American Way. So to place yourself in a position of self-denial, and give up what you have instead of seeking to have more, is a powerful and profound way to live. Yet, giving away all you have in expulsive waves of generosity without love is no credit to any of us.

Go, feed the poor. Go, clothe the naked. Go, house those without homes. Go. Do. But without love, it has no worth. It has no meaning. One could go so far as to allow ourselves to be martyred; our bodies burned for the faith. But in the absence of love, even this does no good for the person who does it. Without love, all the gifts and virtues in the world will have no meaning. Why? Love motivates meaning.

Hearing this should cause us to take a small step back from even our most cherished activity and ask: "is love leading me to do this?" Am I doing this for and in love? If the answer is not a sure "yes," then the entirety of our activity must necessarily come under question. This "test", if you will, does not just apply to the church and church stuff. It applies to business, school, politics, parenting… everything. Is love at the centre of my motivation? That is indeed a dangerous question to ask.

Having Paul show us that every spiritual gift or spiritual virtue means nothing without love naturally leads us to a question: what is love? What does he mean by the word "love?" Is it the same thing we generally think of when we hear the word? Does he mean love as our host culture has come to define it?

In Paul's answer, one thing is made immediately clear: Love is not just a matter of feelings. Feelings rise and fall. Feelings come and go. What Paul does here is define love by what love does.

Love is patient, meaning it is long-suffering. Love leans in, even when everything in us says lean out. Love tolerates delays, problems, and suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. Love stands firm in the storm. Love endures. Love is kind. Love does good, even to those who harm. Love is warm, benevolent, neighbourly, and gentle. Love is inviting. Love is not envious. It is not covetous. Love celebrates other people's wins. Love is not boastful or braggadocious. It is not puffed up. Love is not rude. Love is humble. Love is gracious. Love does not insist on having its way. Love not only avoids seeking that which does not belong to it, but love is prepared to give up, for the sake of others, even that to which it is entitled. Love is willing to release even what it is owed. Love is not touchy or easily provoked to offence. Love is not bitter. Love holds no grudges. Love does not charge evil to anyone's account. Love, instead, absorbs wrong so that it might dispose of it.

Love, while gracious, grieves when it sees wrong, but it does not seek to elevate itself by tracking down and pointing out what is wrong; no, love sinks its identity deep into rejoicing over what is right and true. Love bears all things; it is not easily pressed or compressed. Love keeps its shape, even under a weight that should crush it. Love is indomitably strong. Love never loses faith. Love looks forward, believing always that things can turn for the good. Love never ceases to hope. Love never ceases to hope. Love never ceases to hope. Love never fails. Love will persist, even amid incredible opposition. Love will persist, even when tested.

Love is not love until it is tested.

Love is not mere feeling, is it? No. It is a commitment. It is a function of our character… our spiritual formation. Love, true love, is cultivated over time in the context of community. It is learned, habitual, and Spirit enabled. True love is learned, not just felt. What is lasting and endless—over and against all other things—is love. 

Faith, which looks at God, is revealed in Jesus and trusts Him for everything will cease. Hope, which looks ahead to God and what He will do when He reclaims the world, and all that is His already assured to us by Jesus' resurrection, will cease. But Love the greatest of these? 

An old Hymn captures the answer for us well:

   Faith will vanish into sight.

   Hope will be emptied in delight.

   Love in heaven will shine brighter.

We learn love here and now because it is the fullness of the language we will speak then and there. Everything else… EVERYTHING ELSE ends, but love is eternal; Love is what binds us; Love is what holds us up; Love is God's greatest gift because God Himself is Love.