Wise Family Resources

Family Vision Template
Family Vision
What is the preferred future for your family?
What things could be and should be for your family, but are not?
What type of family do you long to be?
How do you want your family to be known?

Ex. The Jones family longs to be a family that is holy, joy filled and close knit.

Family Practices
Your family practices are the practical things you do every day in order to see your family vision take shape.

Ex.
Read the Bible individually and as a family.
Ask good questions.
No technology after 6.
Play.
Speaking life.
Healthy tone in conflict.

Family Values
Values are those things that define the heart and culture of your home.
Ex.
Presence (i.e. being fully present when present)
Honor
Stewardship

Indispensable Principles of Parenting

Parenting is Stewardship.
Consistency is Key.
Discipline requires Law and Gospel.
Affirmation must outweigh Correction.
Intimidation has no place.
A healthy fear (reverence) is good and right.
Repentance must be modeled.
Spanking has its place but should not be the go to.
You must display unity with your spouse (if this is your situation).
Show special honor to your eldest.
Raise flexible children.
Parenting is Discipleship.

Marriage Postures

There are three potential postures we take in marriage. The unhealthiest of the three is “Back-to-Back”. This is the posture to which we creep in times of distress or disunity. The image is clear, as a couple we are not facing one another or even the same direction. This is a dangerous threat to the longevity of a marriage and must be addressed as soon as it is sensed.

The second posture, and the most dangerous at times is that of being “Shoulder-to-Shoulder”. Why, you may wonder, is this dangerous? “We are looking in the same direction?” “We are working toward the same ends?” Yes, and there are times, moments, seasons even when much of your marriage will feel this way, but staying here long term makes you teammates, but not lovers. This posture, while necessary, even daily at times, lacks intimacy because the two of you are facing a common goal, but rarely facing one another.

The third posture, and the healthiest, is “Face-to-Face”. The description itself captures the heart and power of this posture. Face-to-Face denotes intimacy, togetherness, and oneness. When you are Face-to-Face, you see one another and move away from disunity or only co-labor to intimate lovers, in every respect. The great labor of marriage is to remain Face-to-Face while working toward the same vision for your family. Fight for it.

Rites of Passage
At every stage of our children’s lives we should ceremonially celebrate the varying transitions through which they will go. Each is unique and should build on the stage before it as we prepare them to live in this world out from under our covering.

For each of your children, you must be creative and think through their lives as individuals. What passions have they cultivated? What is their personality? What are their strengths? What are their weaknesses? When you answer these questions, and perhaps a few more, you can tailor an experience at every stage that initiates them into the next.

For example, when children move from babies to toddlers, potty training should be ceremonially celebrated as a rite of passage.

Thinking through their life and strategically through their stages will give you a great deal of fodder for planning their passage at each stage. A few examples, listed with the younger stage first and moving toward adulthood are ceremonially commissioning them to:

Taking Responsibility for Themselves in Graduating Degrees
Having Accountability to Order Their Own World
Developing a Life Vision
Earned Aspects of Individual Freedoms
A Developed Sense of Self Leadership

At every stage there is a chance for us to let go of a bit of our oversight and invite them into their own.

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